Why Are Korean Celebs Still Apologizing?
This is an aspect of Korean pop culture that I wish would disappear
One of the strangest things about Korean celebrity culture is the number of famous people who are essentially forced to issue apologies for doing normal, everyday things (that their detractors themselves are probably doing).
Unfortunately, the Korean entertainment industry encourages these parasocial relationships, which make some fans feel entitled to nitpick about every aspect of their faves’ lives.
Can we normalize not going on a witch hunt when a celeb is outed for, gasp, having a personal life that includes dating?
° UNIQ’s Kim Sung-joo is 30 (thirty!!). After one of his band members accidentally asked him about his son on a live broadcast, Kim was forced to issue an apology for (1) being married (2) having a child (3) and doing all the above without telling his fans.
This grown man had to issue an apology that read in part:
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for surprising so many people with the sudden news that spread recently through online communities and social media, and I also apologize that I was not able to show myself in front of you honestly. … I know it's late, but I want to come forward with the truth. I will live on as a diligent husband and father from now on.
° Aespa’s Karina, 23, and “Alchemy of the Souls” actor Lee Jae-wook, 25, met at a fashion show in Milan earlier this year and began dating shortly thereafter. After both confirmed that the gossip was true, stock share prices for her label, SM Entertainment, dipped almost 3.5% lower than prior to the scandal.
She was also forced to apologize:
I know very well how disappointed [Aespa fans] must be and I also know that they are feeling upset while thinking back on the things we’ve said to one another. I feel even more sorry because I, too, understand those feelings all too well. … I wanted to convey that I am sincerely sorry to the fans who gifted me with the warmest winter of my life from the moment I debuted. I have always been sincere towards MYs, and even now, each and every one of you is truly precious to me.”
And get this: some of Aespa’s Chinese fans even went so far as to send protest trucks to SM’s headquarters, expressing their anger that Karina was dating the popular actor.
Meanwhile, some netizens spread rumors online that he had broken up with his previous girlfriend to be with Karina. (Which…if true…is a good thing, right? Ending one relationship to start another.) Lee’s management immediately released a statement that they would be pursuing litigation against any and all defamatory accusations against the actor.
° Don’t even get me started on the messy love triangle between actors Han So-hee and Ryu Jun-yeol, who are accused of being the mistress and cheater, respectively, after the latter’s relationship with his “Reply 1988” co-star Hyeri ended in November 2023 after seven years of dating. Fans are out for blood, wanting Han and Ryu to apologize to Hyeri.
° When HyunA and her Triple H bandmate Dawn began dating in 2016, they did so in secret at first. When Korean media revealed their relationship, their label issued the customary denial. But then both artists did something unusual for K-pop artists: They met with a Korean newspaper — without their label’s consent — and confirmed that they had been together for two years. Cube Entertainment took swift action, terminating their contracts. This resulted in a lot of international media coverage.
Though some fans were angry at HyunA and Dawn for being in love with each other, the artists had the support of their respective fanbases and on social media. PSY then signed them to his boutique label P Nation.
But it’s not just dating news that sets some netizens off. Let’s take a look at Noodle-Gate.
° Minji from the girl group NewJeans had to apologize for joking that she didn’t know what the Korean noodle dish kalguksu was. Then when she later said that of course she knew what it was, netizens accused her of being hostile. Her apology included:
I am truly sorry to [our fandom] Bunnies, who must have been surprised and hurt that I showed a bad attitude during a live broadcast [on Jan. 2] where I comfortably interacted with the fans. I thought there was no use crying over spilled milk and that time would calm down the heated dispute. However, as time passed, more comments were made, even about my relationships with my members. The misunderstanding has put me in distress, knowingly and unknowingly for the past year. I will be more careful not to make the same mistake again.”
All this over noodles!
° And in another particularly egregious case, a teenager was severely harassed for being proud of where she was born. Twice‘s Taiwanese member, Tzuyu, found herself in hot water for doing absolutely nothing wrong. Just 16 years old at the time, she enthusiastically introduced herself to "My Little Television" viewers and held up the Republic of China flag — also known as the flag of Taiwan — along with the South Korean flag. A Taiwanese-born but China-raised entertainer named Michael Huang An — who is vocally anti Taiwan — attacked Tzuyu online, accusing her of being anti-mainland China.
That a 52-year-old man would attack a teenager is bad enough. But he encouraged Chinese netizens to campaign against her. It got so out of hand that Tzuyu lost her endorsements in China, had her activities there canceled and had to release an apology video. It was a no-win situation for a child, who is not a politician and shouldn’t have been expected to behave like one.
° But wait, there’s more. You can also be the brunt of angry netizens if you’re a feminist or even feminist adjacent. Suffice it to say that some people have no idea what feminism even means. It doesn’t mean that one gender is better than the other — which is what some delulu male Red Velvet fans conflated after hearing Irene say that she had read Cho Nam-Joo’s acclaimed novel Kim Ji-young, Born in 1982. (By the way, I recommend this book, especially if you want to get an idea as to why so many South Korean women are opting not to give up their careers to get married and have babies.)
Irene never came out and said she’s a feminist — and frankly, it could have been a career ender if she did. [Note: I have done several interviews where concerned management asked if I could omit quotes that might make their artist appear to be a feminist. In this instance, management wasn’t trying to be controlling, but they were being proactive in trying to limit the amount of online bullying that would occur if the F word was alluded to.] But accusing her of being one based on a book she read is like saying that English lit students are pedophiles for reading Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita, or that history buffs are Nazis for studying Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf.
And to be perfectly clear — unlike the other two — there is nothing nefarious about feminism. It just means equality. And those who have an issue with that are the real problem, not a K-pop star who enjoys reading ... or dating.
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Thank you for writing about this! I feel so strongly about it because, as a K-Pop and K-Drama fan, I support the actors/actresses and artists, but I feel so bad when they get into dating "scandals" (why is having a relationship a scandal in the first place?). And then people start throwing them under the bus, getting mad at them, calling them traitors for dating.
For example, Chen from EXO. I know even now, fans are still demanding that he leave the group, stating that his role as a husband and father may be getting in the way of his duties as a K-Pop idol, and I'm like...how???
I always talk about celebrities having actor/singer/artist as their daytime job. In short, they're professionals, just like the rest of us. When they're off work, they're themselves. It's not like we demand our banker or doctor never to marry either so why can't celebrities date in peace without people demanding apologies left and right?
(I told you I feel strongly about this! 😅)
Very well said! I've been following K-dramas and K-pop since 2012 and this "apology" mania in Korean pop culture has always driven me crazy. I have a question. Does it also apply to sports figures, classical musicians, fine artists, and politicians? Is it something left over from Confucianism, under which each person had to know and maintain their place in society? Or is it purely a product of the young k-pop culture where celebrities have to be "Pure" to have any intrinsic value? It is certainly confusing for us Westerners to understand or appreciate since egregious behavior like sending protest trucks seems sadly ineffective and laughable. Thank you, Christina Olds