I'm Lakota, but my first language is English, and ironically I became an English instructor at the tribal college where I had received my degree and where- even more ironically- the chief purpose was to reclaim the Lakota language and culture. I grew up hearing Lakota in my home and understanding it, but I can only speak a few phrases. The language continues to fade every year no matter how many language grants we get and language curriculums we develop. I possibly can understand about as much Korean as Lakota at this point, after three years of being obsessed with Kdramas and BTS.
As someone who is trying to "reclaim" Mandarin, this post resonated so much with me. I grew up speaking English, even though my Chinese grandmother wanted us to at least learn some Mandarin or Hokkien alongside Filipino. But by the time my parents realised that they should have let us learn the language, it was a little too late.
Filipino was a little easier to learn because we're surrounded by it in the form of school subjects and friends. But Mandarin is a different story, so it's now in my goal to learn the language for myself—to become fluent in reading, writing, and speaking, as a way of learning more about that part of my heritage that I lost while growing up.
(Also, what a beautiful video. Thank you for sharing!)
Wow, thank you Alyssa. You know, it's true what they say though: it's never to late to start learning. Like i mentioned in my title, it's a work in process that many of us are going through. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for writing this, Jae-Ha. I don't have children yet, but I have very similar thoughts about how my partner and I might raise them if we have any. My grandma Amma watched me for some time when I was preschool age and taught me some of my mother tongue Hokkien (which shares a lot of words with Korean) just like in the short film you shared. We did use it at home in Socal, but Amma went back home and my parents both worked so it gradually faded from my memory as I grew up, especially once I moved away to college on the East Coast. Toward my late 20s whenever I'd visit home she'd ask when I was going to get married.
Fast forward to when I'm 30: Amma was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer and I managed to visit CA a couple times over the course of her treatment. Like the woman in the short, I could barely string sentences together, but I held her hand and tried to let her know I was there and that I loved her. After a long and difficult fight, her health deteriorated more quickly than I could manage to make it out to CA.
Amma didn't get to see me get married, but at 40 I'm planning my wedding now. Next year as I walk down the aisle I'll be thinking of her and hope somewhere she'll know I'll be happily married. ❤
That part about NOT beating up those girls gave me a good chuckle!
But on the language side, my grandparents (Mexican/Maya heritage) and all their children are fluent in Spanish but growing up my mom basically refused to teach us. When I was younger and living with my grandparents I used to be able novelas and understand even if my speaking skills were spotty. But I lost most of that after moving away from that almost total immersion and now here I am in my 40’s still learning Spanish. I told my mom I’ll never forgive her for my suffering lol.
Wow , I finally understand why my father raised me the way he did. . . I have always lived in a multicultural community and growing up my father always said figure it out or learn their language but I never want too hear you say speak English you live in America. See Im mixed Native American Potawatomi fathers side and white mothers side and my dads mom, Grandma, would always say with her hand on your heart listen with your heart and no language will be a barrier and to this day Im always asked how you know what was said I say I don't but I trust my heart too guide me , I don't always get it right but its enough that they in their Native tongue will show me sometimes with a smack on the head and a few curse words we figure out what each of us are saying then the laughing starts and the cooking begins . . . Love what ya do and thanks for my aha! momet. Hugs 🤗
Thank you Jae-Ha and community members for sharing these reflections and stories.
I also have very tender relationships with my parents languages. For the past 4 generations there have been migration stories, cultures and languages lost.
My mom was a Portuguese teenager when she immigrated to France and met my father another immigrant teenager, ethnically Tamil, from Mauritius Island. Violently assimilated into French culture, i understand Portuguese but don’t speak it fluently, i don’t speak Tamil or Creole.
Most white folks i meet in the US don’t consider me an immigrant, but an expat, because I speak English without an accent and have a masters degree.
I have been raising my kids in French and it has been hard labor making their fluency a reality. My 17 year-old has embraced that part of his identity and it’s still is unclear if my 13 year-old will remain fluent.
For the last 20 years I have been a teacher in bilingual education. The different values placed on bilingualism is yet another way we see white supremacy at work. How certain families are told not speak the home language? Which language immersion programs are funded and which are private? Why a white family choses French rather than Spanish, or Mandarin, when they live NYC?
I agree with the person who said there is a book in your story Jae-Ha, and I want to add that all our stories are worth being told! Collective short creative non-fiction stories on substack anyone?
Jessie, thank you for your beautiful comment. I commend you for raising your children to be bilingual. While you can't guarantee how much of it will stick with them, you'll never wonder whether you should've tried more. You are so right about the different values placed on bilingualism. Speaking French (or German) is viewed as educated and worldly, while other languages are not. My son is learning Spanish, because his school doesn't teach Korean or Mandarin. Everything and nothing has changed since I was a child. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
You can't beat immersion. I didn't learn Portuguese until my family moved to Brazil for a few years. Spending a year or two in Korea would improve your language skills a lot.
I'm Lakota, but my first language is English, and ironically I became an English instructor at the tribal college where I had received my degree and where- even more ironically- the chief purpose was to reclaim the Lakota language and culture. I grew up hearing Lakota in my home and understanding it, but I can only speak a few phrases. The language continues to fade every year no matter how many language grants we get and language curriculums we develop. I possibly can understand about as much Korean as Lakota at this point, after three years of being obsessed with Kdramas and BTS.
But I think it's so important that you are trying to bring more awareness to the Lakota language. I hope that one day it flourishes again. 💜
Like the story. There’s a novel in there waiting to come out!
Thank you. Maybe one day??
As someone who is trying to "reclaim" Mandarin, this post resonated so much with me. I grew up speaking English, even though my Chinese grandmother wanted us to at least learn some Mandarin or Hokkien alongside Filipino. But by the time my parents realised that they should have let us learn the language, it was a little too late.
Filipino was a little easier to learn because we're surrounded by it in the form of school subjects and friends. But Mandarin is a different story, so it's now in my goal to learn the language for myself—to become fluent in reading, writing, and speaking, as a way of learning more about that part of my heritage that I lost while growing up.
(Also, what a beautiful video. Thank you for sharing!)
Wow, thank you Alyssa. You know, it's true what they say though: it's never to late to start learning. Like i mentioned in my title, it's a work in process that many of us are going through. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for writing this, Jae-Ha. I don't have children yet, but I have very similar thoughts about how my partner and I might raise them if we have any. My grandma Amma watched me for some time when I was preschool age and taught me some of my mother tongue Hokkien (which shares a lot of words with Korean) just like in the short film you shared. We did use it at home in Socal, but Amma went back home and my parents both worked so it gradually faded from my memory as I grew up, especially once I moved away to college on the East Coast. Toward my late 20s whenever I'd visit home she'd ask when I was going to get married.
Fast forward to when I'm 30: Amma was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer and I managed to visit CA a couple times over the course of her treatment. Like the woman in the short, I could barely string sentences together, but I held her hand and tried to let her know I was there and that I loved her. After a long and difficult fight, her health deteriorated more quickly than I could manage to make it out to CA.
Amma didn't get to see me get married, but at 40 I'm planning my wedding now. Next year as I walk down the aisle I'll be thinking of her and hope somewhere she'll know I'll be happily married. ❤
Thank you for sharing your experience, Eddie. I think your Amma knew exactly what you wanted her to know. 💜
That part about NOT beating up those girls gave me a good chuckle!
But on the language side, my grandparents (Mexican/Maya heritage) and all their children are fluent in Spanish but growing up my mom basically refused to teach us. When I was younger and living with my grandparents I used to be able novelas and understand even if my speaking skills were spotty. But I lost most of that after moving away from that almost total immersion and now here I am in my 40’s still learning Spanish. I told my mom I’ll never forgive her for my suffering lol.
ㅋㅋ I wonder if your mother felt you would fit in better if you didn't speak Spanish? And kudos to you for continuing to learn Spanish!!
ETA: to correct "you" to "your."
Wow , I finally understand why my father raised me the way he did. . . I have always lived in a multicultural community and growing up my father always said figure it out or learn their language but I never want too hear you say speak English you live in America. See Im mixed Native American Potawatomi fathers side and white mothers side and my dads mom, Grandma, would always say with her hand on your heart listen with your heart and no language will be a barrier and to this day Im always asked how you know what was said I say I don't but I trust my heart too guide me , I don't always get it right but its enough that they in their Native tongue will show me sometimes with a smack on the head and a few curse words we figure out what each of us are saying then the laughing starts and the cooking begins . . . Love what ya do and thanks for my aha! momet. Hugs 🤗
Thank you so much, Jennifer.
Thank you Jae-Ha and community members for sharing these reflections and stories.
I also have very tender relationships with my parents languages. For the past 4 generations there have been migration stories, cultures and languages lost.
My mom was a Portuguese teenager when she immigrated to France and met my father another immigrant teenager, ethnically Tamil, from Mauritius Island. Violently assimilated into French culture, i understand Portuguese but don’t speak it fluently, i don’t speak Tamil or Creole.
Most white folks i meet in the US don’t consider me an immigrant, but an expat, because I speak English without an accent and have a masters degree.
I have been raising my kids in French and it has been hard labor making their fluency a reality. My 17 year-old has embraced that part of his identity and it’s still is unclear if my 13 year-old will remain fluent.
For the last 20 years I have been a teacher in bilingual education. The different values placed on bilingualism is yet another way we see white supremacy at work. How certain families are told not speak the home language? Which language immersion programs are funded and which are private? Why a white family choses French rather than Spanish, or Mandarin, when they live NYC?
I agree with the person who said there is a book in your story Jae-Ha, and I want to add that all our stories are worth being told! Collective short creative non-fiction stories on substack anyone?
💙
Jessie, thank you for your beautiful comment. I commend you for raising your children to be bilingual. While you can't guarantee how much of it will stick with them, you'll never wonder whether you should've tried more. You are so right about the different values placed on bilingualism. Speaking French (or German) is viewed as educated and worldly, while other languages are not. My son is learning Spanish, because his school doesn't teach Korean or Mandarin. Everything and nothing has changed since I was a child. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
You can't beat immersion. I didn't learn Portuguese until my family moved to Brazil for a few years. Spending a year or two in Korea would improve your language skills a lot.